journal

A collection of 97 posts

journal

Sincere devotion

There's something about sincerity that's floating nearby for me - connected to declaring intentions, which is then connected to invitations and leadership. Or maybe it's better phrased as faith? Except not faith in outcomes. In the face of the "maybe everything will fall

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What's in a name

Continuing exploration of the shapes that want to exist. The "intentional way of unfolding life and love" is the ideal that finds its expression in inner, relational, and outer work. (outer, toward "intentional world" vs "intentional way"?) It's bigger than any brand

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Locating the whole

Continuing directly onward from understanding sourceship. No editing, raw thoughts. In order to give that post a name, I looked over what I'd written. Reflecting on that emergent name, it's evident that I'm trying to understand my portfolio of source roles, where am I

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Understanding sourceship

Dec 27 - the in-between time, the day after the day-after and before later activities. Free-write, stream-of-consciousness, minimal edits. Putting things into words, there's a fear, an anticipation of inevitable letdown, from choosing specific word strings to gesture at the beauty of the non-verbal "real" thing.

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The stack, onion, and mesh

<meta: The doing is pretty much done for the year. The kids are done with school. Final Practice Dojo of 2024 a week ago Saturday, final 2R on Tuesday, LUME holiday party on Thursday, final IV on Friday, final IS Community Call today. Not 100% prepped for Christmas morning

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Tis the season

'Tis the season. I'm sitting next to a Christmas tree covered in lights and ornaments. Hand-made and photo ornaments accumulate slowly over the years, small differences framing the familiarity of this tradition, this talisman of love and gratitude. In a related way, 'tis also the season

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Monday warm up

Hello Monday, silence, opportunity of time. Hello awareness, choice, sensing, passion without fixation. What wants to be heard, expressed, fulfilled? What is mine to do today? What role at all scales will I play? What voice to wear here, even? Selecting words forces a style, a vector of expression that

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remembering the greenhouse

This is a meta post to bring me back into contact with this workflow, this writing editor, and activate the sense of muscle memory that comes from stepping back into this space, this site, the intersection of public and personal. It's like a greenhouse — walking through a door

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my phenomenology of free attention

Hey self, what's on your mind? ... Nah, I don't want to keep up that rhetorical style.  (Awkward start, but no deleting! Plow forward) Nor reify IFS parts either — it's not patterns floating around, just untangling/wayfinding/degfragging. Integrating, maybe I'll go with

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just plain typing

<warning: the following is entirely self-referential navel-gazing fluff... at first, then looks at the dark side of the big picture> Sometimes I think about typing here, exploring something out in the open, and I shy away because of some concept of... wanting it to be high-quality, in case

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feelings about fixing the computer

This post hearkens back to my feelings about the dishwasher [https://www.bakejam.com/feelings-about-the-dishwasher/] over a year ago. Today I spent 6 to 7 hours of effort across 12 hours of wall-clock time trying to get my desktop PC to update its Win10 after being stuck for two years

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drafts in the icebox

This is just to say I have deleted the drafts that were in the icebox and which probably had some good stuff that could have been written at one point Forgive me they lost their aliveness so stale and so old

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a soaring grounding

Hello to myself, writing from the middle of an Intentional Society session. I've just sent the boats out to sea, and we happen to have no day-trippers around other than myself so, this is what wants to flow for me. Doing a Complice review last night, I had

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consider blogging

That's what my daily tasklist says currently - "consider blogging." Not to demand that I write, but to think about it in the context of setting my intentions for the day. I've found myself thinking, almost imagining myself writing in a variety of moments

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emotions as another brain

I heard a child's reactions upstairs: noises that conveyed emotional states. Shock, distress, anger, grief, a few seconds each, one flowing into another. This seemed to resolve without any parental support (this time), and now I hear them playing together again. Something about it worked - some sort

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commitments and agreements

When someone asks you "to commit" to something, there are two interestingly different senses of the word to consider and disambiguate. The first is a synonym of "dedicate" - to be committed to something is to be dedicated to that thing. To care, to value, to

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just waving hello

Hello, I'm still around! When I'm not here, you see, I'm over there [https://www.intentionalsociety.org]. It's been a fun couple weeks. We've just about hit critical mass, I think, at 60 newsletter subscribers, 34 session registrants, 14 session

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talk and action

I did some one-on-one calls on Sunday for Intentional Society [https://www.intentionalsociety.org], getting more familiar with folks and quizzing them about their hopes for personal/ultimate outcomes and inclinations for next steps. One thing that came up multiple times was a desire towards action. Action as the counterpoint

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goal recrafting

I started using Complice [https://complice.co] six months ago now. Coincidentally, that was right after I glimpsed down below "values" to formulate my deep goals [https://www.bakejam.com/deep-goals/] of relational being-ness (and wholeness, coherence, integrity - words are approximate). That made for a great set

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growth and commitments

I'm rolling around a few thought nuggets shared by participants in yesterday's inaugural IS [https://www.intentionalsociety.org] info session. One is that personal development/growth is at the center. Or very near the center. This sounds very pithy and quite true to me. By development

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ready to not know

First, I notice it's been two weeks since I wrote here! I've been intentionally focusing on other things, but I didn't mean to stop entirely for this long. I notice a part of me was thinking that I should leave the last post [https:

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intentionalsociety.org is live

https://www.intentionalsociety.org It's like starting to roll a boulder uphill. Potential energy starts to turn into distance traveled. Once you push off, you want to sustain the effort so it doesn't roll right back to the start. Once you have others pushing beside you,

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how rare is good sensemaking?

The pink arrow in the above picture (from here [https://www.electionbettingodds.com/President2020.html]) highlights the time (10:30 PM Pacific, 1:30 Eastern) I posted socially (for friends) my personal prediction of 80% confidence for 270+ EV for Biden. So I was thus very surprised midday today to

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i am not bad

"I am bad." I named it and felt into it last night with friends - the presupposition that had suffused my worldview for over three decades of my life inside American Evangelicalism. I felt the heaviness of it, like an oppressive blanket. The way it connected to the

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reflection on current goals

This is for me. You're welcome to ride along. I have four current goal areas, all through a frame of being-ness in "my relationship to": 1. biggest self 2. nourishing relationships 3. better society 4. healthy family I see these daily inside Complice [https://complice.co/