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my first media appearance

my first media appearance

For the sake of posterity, I feel compelled to liberate this picture from the confines of LinkedIn [https://www.linkedin.com/posts/rick-erickson-001_james-baker-and-i-interned-together-in-99-activity-6693281444250423296-RKgj/] and document what I haven't forgotten already. I'm not at

awareness of the awareness process

awareness of the awareness process

I've written a few times about my "filters" - having my guard up and processing my feelings and thoughts through a layer of mental perspective-taking before speaking. When the filters are there but letting most things straight through, it feels like roleplaying myself [https://www.bakejam.

parenting with acceptance

parenting with acceptance

These are my recent thoughts on moving away from shame-based parenting instruction. I'm in the process of wandering away from the language of judgement - objective(ly framed social) judgement and my personal judgement of them. Feelings are just feelings, they just are what they are, and there&

sensemaking trumpcovid

sensemaking trumpcovid

It's almost 24 hours since the October surprise of the screenwriters of 2020 - Trump finally catches the virus. Six months ago I would have said "of course he's going to get it with that attitude", but up until recently I'd been updating

missing momentum

missing momentum

Looking back on about three months of working for myself, I've been more aware and more intentional about what my desires are each day. I've become a fairly good estimator, too, about which and how many tasks are going to fit into each day - down to

looking at my next step

looking at my next step

I have a current priority in my Complice [https://complice.co/] goals of "do enough interviews [https://www.bakejam.com/may-i-ask-you/] to learn something" by about now. This is my check-in point, so, have I learned something? Well, first I have learned some interesting

going to school from home

going to school from home

I want to pop up and say "Hi" to keep the lights on here. This has been the first week with full school days for us, and it's definitely a process of getting used to new responsibilities and rhythms. 8:30 AM to almost 3 PM,

thoughts and feelings

thoughts and feelings

In which direction do our "feelings" and "thoughts" go? Yes, as it turns out "both" is the somewhat-inevitable answer, but I still thought this was interesting to puzzle through this morning. (An aside on defining those words: "feeling vs thought" can

writing and awareness

writing and awareness

This is me writing just to keep the writing and thinking flowing. I find I miss it now, if I go more than a couple days without thinking-out-loud in this space. I've heard journalers with a "daily pages" label for their practice, and I

seeing my physical sight

I am typing this using speech-to-text. The reason I'm doing so is mostly as a hypothetical exercise - What if I weren't able to use my sight as I'm accustomed to? I'm going in for a minor surgery tomorrow but this

considering the developmental bridge of the culture war

considering the developmental bridge of the culture war

<meta: heady sensemaking with not a lot of consideration for intelligibility, sorry> I recently read Developing ethical, social, and cognitive competence [https://vividness.live/2015/10/12/developing-ethical-social-and-cognitive-competence/] by David Chapman, particularly the "The communal-to-systematic transition has become more difficult&

not my circus

Did some full-(school)-day parenting the last couple days - SPS teacher/staff training has begun and we're one week out from remote school itself. It's fun for a couple days, I said, in the sense that I didn't bother trying to "catch

poignant hope

The world is a mess, isn't it. Painful and beautiful, it's so fractally complex, so intertwined and tangled, so big, and so filtered through such limited awarenesses as we are. We are bundles of sensation puppeted by self-deceiving egos designed by the ancient deaths of

word dump

Literally. Just dumping out language bits, phrases and sentences that have popped up in conversation that seem useful: * anti-tribe tribe * connecting across a different dimension * belong to each other * rewarding and nourishing time * unvillanize * unifying scope of emotional language * bridging, belonging, and building (personal development) * mind, heart, and will

and now, procrastination

and now, procrastination

I've been procrastinating a bit on my first official newsletter. I think it's the "writing for a new/particular audience" thing - I find myself wondering how much the average person knows about me, guessing what they're interested in, how much detail is

specificity and size

The tightness or strength of a "belonging" seems to be strongly correlated to the specificity of the definition of the in-group - does that sound right? People do consider themselves parts of broad groups such as "men" or "women" or "Catholic" or

reaching out beyond my bubble

Today I'm feeling more aware of grounding and connection of real interaction. After talking about meetings yesterday [https://www.bakejam.com/how-to-feel-about-missing-a-meeting/], I missed a meeting myself just a few hours later! 🤣 I was glad that I didn't have to

how to feel about missing a meeting

I sent several "hey, so you missed our meeting, what next" emails this morning, catching up on my TODOs. (If you were one of them, please don't worry.) So I was just thinking about emotions and our attitudes and behaviors towards them, specifically in the context

budgeting my time and words, plus consulting

I intend for this post to be non-philosophical. Let's see. 😏 I missed writing yesterday, which was pretty much set as soon as I filled the morning with other things. (In the context of my just-this-week intention to write every day, and of already having a

being and doing

Being and doing (or ∞ [https://www.bakejam.com/comfort-and-intensity/] instead of "and", but I probably won't copy-paste that all the time) is a rich polarity for me right now. Doing-ness - immersed in the hamster wheel, the rat race, striving for accomplishments - has

comfort and intensity

I was just reading from Rob McNamara [http://www.robmcnamara.com/]'s The Elegant Self [http://www.robmcnamara.com/Books/The%20Elegant%20Self/], which I have been chewing through off-and-on for a few years. His "Dialectical Elegance" chapter dives into a bunch of polarities [https:

roleplaying yourself

I have noticed this [https://www.google.com/search?q=site%3Abakejam.com+mask] in myself. So have others [https://twitter.com/regancodes/status/1292830995633274884]. I realize there's a nice developmental [https://medium.com/@NataliMorad/how-to-be-an-adult-kegans-theory-of-adult-development-d63f4311b553] story about

jetsam

Getting a bit too formal lately, for my journaling intention. You know, waiting until I have actual things to say. Pfft. That's not the way to run the idea pump! Keep those fingers moving. Drifting thoughts follow. Here's something I'd normally keep quiet for

leadership and dominance

I was talking and exploring with my friend Randy yesterday, whom I met at my first Authentic Relating [https://authenticrelating.co/] training, and there was this fantastic moment that I want to elaborate here. BTW I'll definitely recommend him as he expands his coaching/guiding practice [https://guidedbytheheart.

urgency and acceptance

When I started writing about acceptance [https://www.bakejam.com/humanity-and-acceptance/] , it went in a rather philosophical direction, but I had another angle around urgency that I didn't come back to. The balance (integration of the polarity [https://www.ccl.org/articles/leading-effectively-articles/are-