I just deleted three half-sentences. And now I'm not going to do that anymore. Hah. Consider this a journal entry - it's for me, more than you. But you're welcome in this space! My two goals are self-awareness and connection (other-awareness), for me and with you respectively. I think that I can be "myself" here, without knowing who you are - without needing to present a certain face to you. Authenticity is a tricky tricky thing, when self-awareness is never complete and when "self" itself is a mirage. But, :shrug:. If I can feel playful and unmasked in the thoughts I record here, that's my good-enough proxy measurement.

It is April 1, 2020.  It sounds like a sci-fi date to kid-me, and to present-me too, as the veil of normalcy has been ripped away from the whole world by Covid19 and we dance with apocalyptic and dystopian possibilities. The usual old narratives about life and meaning and society don't work anymore, don't function adequately as sense-making filters on reality.

It is April 1, 2020 and I have just begun a 6ish-week sabbatical from my employer of almost 13 years.  I'm going to work mostly on building a neighborhood support network - in other words, community organizing. The current crisis, as sad and scary as it is, also presents the opportunity for people to come together in a way that our severely polarized and fragmented society sorely needs. It's possible, at least - and I feel drawn to try.

I will record my first intention now: I want to write something down every day for the next six weeks. Hypotheses:

  • I will benefit from the ritual awareness, measured by feeling glad that I did it.
  • I will benefit from the record, measured by me re-reading at least some of what I wrote at least once.
  • I will create a few connections, measured by people telling me that they are following along.

I will need to get some RSS/email options figured out for that last one. :wave: to you and to future me. :grin: